The way that dreams come true is often a long and gritty road, involving a multitude of growth and change. In May 2023 I was delighted by the news that my application for a funded PhD had been successful. After making my third PhD application, and a few years’ of self-employment in the arts, I was well prepared for rejection.
The success of my application for a cross arts and geography PhD (funded by the SWW-DTP) has much to thank the Covid-19 for. During year one of the pandemic, I received a Developing Your Creative Practice award from Arts Council England, which allowed me to develop the outdoors arts and nature connection side of my practice. During this time, I also trained as a lowland walking leader. The ideas gathered from this year of development eventually led to my PhD project, in which I am researching therapeutic landscapes and creative practice.
Here are examples of Emily’s artwork:
I was reasonably well equipped to start my PhD in terms of initial research and preparation yet felt completely unprepared for what re-entering education would be like, or what was expected of me as a researcher. The first eight months have been a steep learning curve involving taking on board a lot of new systems and ways of doing things. I live two hours away from Aberystwyth, and becoming acquainted with the university layout has been slow. the Hugh Owen library offered immediate sanctuary, as did the friendliness of staff at the School of Art.
The beginning of my PhD involved a change of main supervisor, which is often part of finding the right path for a PhD. My PhD is slightly different being funded by the SWW-DTP – who fund cross-institution projects with two supervisors. My second supervisor is based at Exeter and has been a great support, but a big gap in primary supervision has taken some months and a lot of self-direction. This did take a toll mental health-wise, but although not ideal this was not overall an awful thing. Having been self-employed for some years, I went into a PhD with the mentality of “I am my own supervisor”. My funding body also offered some workshops with the fabulous Dr Emma Brodinski, who offered the mantra “You are the CEO of your PhD”. This mindset helps me enormously, although I am very grateful to now be having regular supervision!
Unfortunately, it seems to be a common experience that the start of a PhD involves a lot of stress and anxiety for researchers. It seems to me that more clear guidance could be given at the beginning of the journey, for example in a departmental handbook. I think that it is a unique process; in fact a former PhD student described it to me as a kind of ‘initiation’.
Starting out the path to a PhD has coincided with some bigger personal challenges. In June 2023 I was diagnosed on the autism spectrum at the age of 41, which clarified and confirmed some reasons behind lifelong challenges and struggles. I’m glad I found out before starting my PhD, as I’ve been able to begin with the support I need. My personal autism mentor from the accessibility department is very kind and has been a reassuring point of contact. Having a diagnosis has also helped with some deadline extensions, ways to explain how I need to do things, and receiving disabled student allowance. It has also been a year of huge revelation and transformation, involving the complete breakdown of a long-term relationship and completely reassessing my life on many levels. To say it’s been a bumpy start would be an understatement. I am so grateful to be a funded student, which has given me more financial stability than I have experienced for years. Neurodivergence is also becoming a key aspect of my research, which allows me to fully embrace my multisensory world.
Settling into my research now, I have begun to embrace a slower way of being with the work, of starting to really enjoy my own process. Good research takes time, and I am inspired by the Slow Scholarship movement as a creative person and wellbeing practitioner. I am also encouraged to see a lot of conversations taking place about the experience and wellbeing of PhD students. As someone in their early 40s with various mental health challenges, I am trying to begin my research career with a wellness mindset, because life really is too short to appear functional on the outside and feel terrible inside. As researchers we have an opportunity to resist the toxicity of speed and busyness whilst doing meaningful work, creating a ripple effect that can only benefit the overall culture.
Find out more about Emily:
www.emilywilkinson.net
Instagram @emily.f.wilkinson