Shaking off imposter syndrome
Maintaining good mental health during a PhD can be a challenge. Simone, a research student in the Centre for Criminology Research at USW, talks about her tips for shaking off imposter syndrome and managing well-being.
“Ask any PhD student and chances are they will admit to suffering from imposter syndrome at least once throughout the doctoral journey.
For me, it struck in the first year of my PhD. I didn’t feel academic enough and that is something you tend to internalise rather than voice.
My research focuses on understanding the use of digital forensics in the investigation and prosecution of major crime investigations in England and Wales. Before beginning my PhD, I spent 18 years working as a practitioner and senior manager in the criminal justice system. Coming from a demanding career, I knew that it was absolutely normal to feel this way in new and stressful situations. Remembering all the times I had felt like this before (and when it had turned out okay) helped me to manage the anxiety that accompanies imposter syndrome and move forward from it.
I’ve been very conscious of this in my role as a postgraduate research student rep, and actively remind new research students that peer support and talking to your supervisory team can help rid you of the spectre of imposter syndrome!
Imposter syndrome can hit you in any role, any position and in any area of life. I remember a 22-year old me working with a chaotic, well-educated drug user who would try to shake my confidence in any way he could by questioning my age, why I was in my role and what experience I had.
A wise and seasoned probation officer said to me: “You don’t have to justify why you’re here or how you got here. The only thing that matters is you’re here and you deserve to be here.” That’s something that I have hugged to myself over the years, and have passed on to others who find themselves in similar situations.
Managing your mental health throughout a PhD is important as there are so many ups and downs. I take regular breaks from the research, walk my crazy black Labradors, spend time with family and friends and watch entirely non-academic Netflix programmes!”
It seems so strange to me that I wrote this article nearly two years ago near to the start of a PhD journey which I am now (fingers crossed! ) nearly reaching the end of. I’ve recently come back from presenting some of my research findings at the European Criminology Conference in Florence… Again, that’s a sentence that this time two years ago I would never have imagined writing! Imposter syndrome I’ve realised has been on my shoulder throughout my PhD, every time it took me longer to get a chapter right, every time I just couldn’t seem to write and every time I questioned how good my work actually is… Has my imposter syndrome gone… Absolutely not… Do I think I’ll feel it before I do my Viva… 100 percent yes. However, despite struggling with imposter syndrome I can honestly say I’m enjoying this PhD journey and although I’m looking forward to being at the end of it, I’m also slightly sad. I have made some amazing friends along the way, had brilliant experiences and opportunities, and had support throughout this journey from my supervisors. I’ve learned a few things along the way I’d like to share with you and if this helps one single PhD student feel a little bit less like an imposter, I’ll be happy.
The Universal Truths of PhD Life
- Do not expect your family or friends to really have any idea of what you do… they’ll be proud of you and also confused.
- If you write best in pyjamas with unwashed hair – go ahead that is your right!
- If there are days when you can’t write – don’t panic, there will be days when you can.
- Stop judging yourself against your peers’ timelines, you’re on your own journey and you will get there.
- Take time to do what you love, spend time with friends, family, dogs, shop, eat that chocolate, be kind to yourself! Your writing will be there when you get back .
- Be honest about how you’re feeling, with your friends, with your supervisors and most importantly with yourself. Through having these open narratives, we can help others in the PhD community to feel better about themselves and make the burden of imposter syndrome a little easier to carry.